I got home after the Perfect day at school, I was probably smiling the same amount as I did at Prom.
Came home, and decided I would only do a little bit online and spend the rest of the day reading, painting, and writing.
Now, it came to my attention (around 3:45) that my sis had made a reservation at a restaurant for 3 people. Apparently for my birthday...Don't remember asking for dinner, but okay then. Still a little later, my sis booted me off my own computer because her's wouldn't connect to the wifi. I stayed nearby and teased the cat since she said she would only need ten minutes. For some unknown-to-even-God reason, she asked about the SAT's and if I was practicing. Yeah, I had the two practice tests and I do several questions at school. And again, for this unknown-to-every-deity-ever-worshiped, she wanted to see these tests. Because she wanted to make sure I practiced.
"Why the hell would I need to practice? I got a 82% on the test."
"Yeah, that was probably with just the school."
"No, it was for all Juniors who took the PSAT. EIGHTY TWO PER-CENT!! I don't need to study. I don't have to be any higher."
"I got 97% and I still want to see all these tests {Let me let you know, the tests were in the beginning of the years, like hell I know where they went}"
I had a minor bipolar attack where I just snapped enough to yell "It's my fucking birthday, it's my day to be selfish so stop talking about it!" I think I found a button that unleashed the Kraken.
"Well you never let me be selfish on my birthday, you haven't even gotten me a present for the last few years."
{I did get her a present both years. Last year it was just a little late cause I didn't have much money and finally found something she liked at the antique store a half a month later.}
Me yelling this back at her.
Then I don't even remember what happened, all I know was Usagi had snapped, big time. I remember running downstairs, banging on one wall as hard as I could with my right fist, running into my room, slamming the door as hard as I could, then screaming as loud as I could into a t shirt. After I stopped screaming and was just crying unstoppably, I had accidentally scratched my arm with my long nails I had grown for prom. I slipped into an over-sized happy shirt I love so much and started calming myself down by painting the random-est things ever. Today it was finishing the background for my water lily picture.
A little later after I had calmed down from the first outburst, I was still having something similar to aftershocks where I still cried, but nothing as violent. My mom came in, and even though it's harder to explain it in German, I was able to tell her I'm not going to the restaurant after being yelled at on my birthday.
To keep this kinda short, I was coaxed out of my room and was getting my coat from the other room when I hear my sis say {And she thought I was still in my room} "I can't take this anymore, I don't want to take her out if she does this each time."
"Thanks, nice to know I feel loved when I'm trying to save ya guys some money."
"Well fine then! Since I never seem to do anything right for you after I just wanted to take you out to dinner!" Storming off, she ran into her room with those fake crocodile tears that leave no trace after she stops crying {while my eyes are still red now}. Yelling and more yelling led to me being in the car, but completely silent.
I was able to order food and everything with only few words, but the more I ate of the food, the more I felt control returning to my emotions without lashing out.
Now that was the story {paraphrased} how my perfect day at school was hell on earth at home. I will now state the reasons I had used that made everyone angry at me.
- It was my birthday and I wanted to spend it doing what I want, not stuff planned out for me.
- It wasn't even a restaurant I picked, it was my sis's favourite place it eat.
- Saving money sounded a lot better to me.
- The last time I had heard any word of this was last month, I didn't hear anything yesterday like they claimed
So that was it for what was supposed to be my day I was allowed to be selfish. Ya know the drill, ciao, whatever.
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