I know I haven't talked in a while, and this time, it's in bad tidings. As I type, I'm actually crying. And this is the fucking reason I hate living with my family.
I had just gotten off the phone with Squirrel (She needed a friend, and I was the first person she thought of) when my mom came upstairs. She (in her already raised voice) started talking about my low grades. Now, most of you know that I do have ADHD, but what you don't know, is that I am supposed to take medication for it. But because my doctor retired, and we couldn't find a replacement for him, I have no way to get my prescription so I've been trying to save all my pills to take when I really need them. That means that I had been having focusing problems again, hence low grades.
But now, apparently my mom decided my Senior Year is a good time to start punishing me for my grades. Really?! Senior Year?! I'm under freaking house arrest?! Great planning there, because I promised I would go to Ishy's house and then have my hair cut by Sophomore!
That led to a land-freaking-mine. Apparently, she hated how my hair looked last time Sophomore cut it. She screamed, and I fucking quote, "It looked terrible and it kept getting in your face. It is supposed to be long in front. Short hair is ugly."
Well I didn't know that my hairstyle has to be the way you like it. IT'S MY FUCKING HAIR AND I'LL DO WHAT EVER THE HELL I WANT!!! I loved the way it looked, it was perfect and I got so many compliments and so many people said how beautiful I looked. Thank you so much, mother, for helping out my low self esteem. So all those compliments mean nothing because you didn't like it?
WELL FUCK THE HELL OFF!
You're lucky I didn't chop all my hair off the last time I had a panic attack that was caused by you! Did I mention most of my attacks are caused by you, mother dear?
She's lucky I didn't start freaking out again, since one of the few people that can calm me down is unavailable to be reached. I mean, I've always been able to raise my grades by the time reports came out. And at least I'm freaking honest about it.....
Why the hell do I have to be cursed with this? Why me. Why does he have to be working right now when I really need someone to talk with? I mean, I don't care what my mom says, I'm going to visit him anyways, but I want to talk with him. I don't want to freaking out, I want to be calmed down again! I want to be calm!
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